WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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