she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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