i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
