he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
