Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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