shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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