I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
