I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
