I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
