Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
