you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
