You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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