I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
