I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
