Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
