how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
