I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
