How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
