Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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