Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
