Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
