You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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