she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
