We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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