I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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