I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
