dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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