dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
