You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
