it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
