Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
