Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
