doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was born a porn star she said
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
