I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I have post one night stand depression
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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