Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
