That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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