apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
pop tarts are not kleenex
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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