her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
