Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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