She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
