I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
