The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
