oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
