wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
