: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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