I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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