Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
