honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
