Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
