She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
